A lot of the day was spent in the library trying in vain to learn Italian, a topic that they have shockingly few books on, and yet there’s a shelf full of books written in Latvian. Bonkers.
Anyway, during this time of epic boredom I had a browse round Waterstone’s and found this “Book of Poisons.”

Reading the blurb informed me that this is a book intended for fiction writers — writers of mysteries, detectives, horrors etcetera — so they can get background information on various poisons, their appearance, effects, ways in which to administer them, and how to get or make them. Which makes things lovely and simple for anyone wishing to write about someone poisoning someone else, but also horrifically simple for those who wish to skip the whole writing part and get down to the killing.

Perhaps there should be another, next to it, entitled “Book of Stabbing,” informing potential fiction writers and murderers of the most effective places on the human body to stab, depending upon intent. It should have different chapters depending on whether your intent is instant death, a silent, sneaky, ninja death, or simply pain and incapacitation.

Or bomb-making. There should be a book on that. For potential writers of a new genre of terrorism fiction. But then it’s not really necessary, there’s a book by Stephen Leather, called The Bomb Maker, which describes in detail the ingredients and methods necessary for construction of a large fertiliser bomb.

For example, this rubbish that we apparently all need to know about John Terry. I really don’t care what he’s done. Not interested. However, the media have decided we all need to know. In order to comment on this story about his alleged affair, they bring in a sort of expert witness. Who is this expert witness? Another man, who has also had an affair. Which, of course, makes him excellently qualified to comment on someone else’s affair.

Utter madness.

They do it with pretty much everything. Does the story involve a child? Right, let’s bring in an expert witness. A mother. Who cares if she has anything to do with the story? She has a child, story involves a child, therefore she must be qualified to comment.

It’s nearly as bonkers as this new thing they have where the news readers must make their own succinct comment on each story. Was the story upsetting in any way? Right, let’s get the news reader to mutter “terrible” and shake their head in a disapproving manner, before continuing with the next story like nothing had ever happened.

Just read the news, preferably important news as opposed to what some celebrity had for breakfast. Then go away.

So, moved to WordPress, transferred my domain and saved a ridiculous amount of money per year. Which will quite nicely pay for an iPad. All I need to do now is remember the things I rant about so I can formally rant about them later.